So..it’s been a while since I have blogged or posted. I could blame it on being “busy” but I am always busy. If I am honest, I got in my head. I second guessed the relevance and the purpose behind why I wrote. I felt disconnected to the community, to myself. I thought “why bother”. Does anyone really read this? Then a friend called me and asked if she had inadvertently unsubscribed because she hadn’t been getting them. It hit me – people are reading these. Well at least one, two if you count my mom. And then I realized something, although I would love a huge subscription base- that is just not why I write. I write to share- I write to inspire- I write to reflect on what I am feeling.
This led me to another realization I have been blogging for years (without doubt or self criticism) but just recently joined the social media craze. Notice I didn’t say embrace- just created my business account – Alchemiss Design and then by proxy my personal ones. At first there wasn’t any pressure to post anything at all – let alone whether or not people would “like” it. Then a couple of things happened. First- As I began getting more followers, comments, and opinions I could feel insecurity starting to creep in and posting a photo was no longer an act of enjoying and sharing the “life” but rather a calculated decision. With every picture whether it be for Alchemiss or my personal platforms I found myself second guessing relevance, background, lighting- you name it. Secondly, to make the situation worse as I scrolled through the feeds, and stories of the amazing friends, family, and businesses I follow – I began to make comparisons. I was challenged by my own definition of “perfect” or “worthiness”. What happens when we don’t think our “real life” looks as good as someone else’s? Or what I often think is why would anyone care what I post…. And there you have it—stopped writing, stopped posting.
Many of us genuinely benefit from the beauty and inspiration that is shared on social media- I know that I do. It’s a way that we can share our stories- the good and the bad. It’s a way that we can connect in a world that is frantic and hurried. What it shouldn’t be is a means to measure our worth or compare. Let’s also not miss or critique the beauty that others are sharing by evaluating them based on our own set of criteria, our own perspective and world view. How we use social media is up to us. It’s up to each of us collectively to either abstain or partake with a level of grace, compassion, and kindness. I am inspired by the journey and the memories that are captured and shared. I am also mindful when comparison and self- doubt creep in. This is a loving reminder that something in my own heart or mind is out of tune. I remember advice of my mother years ago—99% of what people say and/or think about you has nothing to do with you – rather more to do with them.
We are all just trying to do our part in this huge little world- lets be kind to one another and to ourselves.